To suck or not to suck

Why guy vampires suck
Reason #2

The other reason male vampires suck is that they won't, well, suck. Trust me, you do not want a vampire going down on you. Fangs and genitalia do not mix.

To be fair, guy vampires don't get so many bj's from girl vampires for the same reason.

Which brings me to a fun fact about vampire-human relations. Vampires need human blood to survive, true. But in this day and age, does mere survival cut the mustard? Ask yourself, is life without oral sex worth living?

Sure, blood may be the number one thing vampires need from humans, but oral sex is a very close number two.